The Power of the Situation and the Power of You!

"The Power of the Situation" is a key concept in my area of study (social psychology). The main message: Situations compel behaviors.

Think of how hard it would be to walk into a library and create a disturbance. Can't you just feel the situation pressing back at you as you try to scream or sing or dance around? How about acting like you would at the doctor's office when you're at a party?

So, situations are powerful. Sometimes when I lecture on this topic, students get a little upset. They start to worry that maybe they're not in as much control of themselves as they thought they were. That is an upsetting thought, to be sure, but that's not my point. It's not nearly that simple.

Yes, situations are powerful and, yes, they can compel our behavior. That's all true. But let's dig a little deeper.

1. First, situations often compel our behavior. That means that we're not mere automatons going through the motions. Sometimes we resist the pull of the situation. Sometimes we'll win that fight, a lot of the time we'll lose. But the point remains: We have our own ideas.

2. Second, we pick a lot of our situations. So, that means that we're exerting a kind of self-control. Once we're in a situation, it will be extremely difficult to resist its pull. But, we can often pick the situations in which we put ourselves. Consider, for example, eating. If you want to eat healthy, is it really a good idea to go to the sports stadium on an empty stomach? You should either eat something healthy before you go or decide to stay away. If you know that certain situations 'pull' behavior out of you that you don't think is great, then maybe don't get yourself into those situations in the first place! Instead, pick the situations that you want, so that you'll like your behavior.

3. Third, we construct situations. This fact shows how powerful we are. Who set up libraries as quiet places for reading and deep contemplation? It was people like us! Who made nightclubs, malls, and funeral homes? Us! Which leads me to . . .

4. Fourth, and most important, YOU can construct situations for yourself. If you're a teacher, you can set up your classroom to compel certain kinds of behaviors from your students. The traditional rows of desks, with you as the focus of attention, sends a different message about what you expect than if you arrange the desks in small groups. If you own a restaurant, you can change the decor, lighting, and seating density to send whatever message you want (raucous pub vs. elegant dining).

So, ultimately, my message gives you freedom. It's a different kind of freedom, to be sure, but it's freedom nonetheless. It's not accurate to believe that you can do whatever you're inclined to do in the moment, regardless of the situation. But, you can certainly exert control of your behavior and your life by choosing, and constructing, many of your situations.

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Benjamin Franklin and the Night Owls: Or, the Importance of Getting the Time that You Need To Do What You Need to Do!

I'm not a fan of old sayings because, well, they sound old and they usually feature general advice that is untested. Here's a case in point, penned by Benjamin Franklin:

"Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise."

The saying has its problems, but there might be a bit of truth in it. Beyond getting a good night's sleep (always a good idea), it has to do with people having time by themselves. People need to have time to do the things that need to get done, whether it be exercising, doing high quality work, or engaging in some deep reflection.

Don't get me wrong. I'm a people person. Ask anybody. I like nothing more than having a good productive meeting, or a jolly good chinwag for that matter. But, when it comes to getting things done (like writing this blog), there's nothing like being alone and just, well, getting things done. I think that's what the "early to rise" part is all about in dear old Benjamin's saying.

Yet, there's nothing about the early morning that makes it the best time to be by yourself. In fact, for some of you, getting up early won't do. You work best once everybody else is in bed. I can't do that because I would fall asleep. Some of you, though, can work into the wee hours.

Why not? Lots of people are 'night owls' and they are extremely productive. How different can it be to work between 11 PM and 3 AM versus getting up at 5 AM and working to 9?

It's in a way gratifying for me to know that there are folks out there who just turned in for the night when I am getting up. Makes me feel oddly connected with them. Like they take the overnight shift and I'm on early mornings. It works great with students, who tend to go to bed late. They send me their work at 3 AM and I've got feedback to them by 8!

So, no matter what your pattern is, make sure that you carve off a bit of time for yourself, regardless of what time it might be, to focus on what you need to do. Before this hurly-burly crazy-mixed-up world catches up to you. And it will.

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How to Shake Things Up and Keep Things Fresh (And Keep Your Good Habits)

Routine is great, right? I think so. Every morning, more or less, I do the same things. I wake up early, work out, eat breakfast, go to work, come home, play with the kids, do more work, watch Doctor Who . . .

It's a great routine. It works for me. I have lots of tasks on virtual autopilot and, even though I'm rather busy, I manage to stay on top of things (more or less).

But, let's face it, routines can get a little boring. Boredom is dangerous and you should be wary of it. When you're bored, you're in peril of becoming disengaged with your routine, which means that your good habits may go by the wayside.

That would be shame.

The only solution is to shake things up within your routine. It can be a small shake up or a big shake up, that's up to you. For me, I do things like reversing the sequence of my weight routine (a good idea anyways apparently), or switching the treadmill that I use when I run. These are small changes, I know, but when you're doing something day after day, small variations can be enough. Heck, even grabbing a locker in a different part of the change room can help!

Here are some tips for you to keep things fresh:

1. Switch the times that you do things. This can't work for all good habits (like having a good breakfast) but for some it will (doing the crossword in the evening vs. the morning).

2. Switch things up inside a routine. If you run a certain route through the neighborhood, try reversing it. Or switch the sequence of post-run stretches.

3. Think about other behaviours that you'd like to include in your good habit routines. Pick on one at a time and start to work them in. Maybe you want to include more fish in your diet, or maybe you want to start some core strengthening exercises. I urge you to use caution in working in new bits to your routine. You don't want to do too much too soon, but *some* change is good.

Yes, some change is good. It's a great way to ensure that you are engaged in continuous improvement and to keep things fresh besides!

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Don't Try to Be Perfect: Just Get Better!

What is your ultimate goal? If you had unlimited resources, time, and self-control, where would your self-improvement efforts take you?

If you said perfection, then you have big trouble. The jury is in on that one. Being a perfectionist is not a great thing to be. In fact, there's a boatload its it's really, REALLY, not a great thing to be at all.

But, let's face it, when you're working on self-improvement, you want to get something just right. You want to hit and maintain a certain weight, you want to stick to your healthy eating plan, you never want to say a cuss word again.

All extremely laudable goals. All, of course, virtually unachievable. It's because of the nature of perfection. Perfection means that *nothing is wrong* But that means everything has to be right. In our hurly-burly world, where chaos and confusion runs rampant, how likely is that?

If you said, "Never gonna happen," you're right.

So, what to do?

Try thinking about self-improvement as continuous improvement that gets closer to perfection, but never achieves it. There will always be opportunities to improve yourself. Instead of dreading that possibility, welcome it. Embrace it.

After all, what life be like without challenges?

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Wellness in My Home Town!

A quick word on a new development here in Guelph. I am part of the Guelph Wellness Initiative. It's a wonderful initiative and I'm happy to play a small role. On a related matter, Oh Well is a new blog by award-winning Guelph Mercury reporter Joanne Shuttleworth on her efforts to improve wellness. Please visit her blog. I have put a link to it on my side-bar.

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When I'm Working, I'm Working, When I'm Not I'm Not: How to Avoid Constant Work in the Information Age

It's amazing isn't it? We can now stay in touch with work wherever we are. We have cell phones and, at a modest price for most, email can be accessed almost anywhere.

I love new technology and I've been taking "advantage." Or, should I say advantage has been taken of me?

It was kind of cool the first (and perhaps twentieth?) time that I received a work email standing by a road miles away from my desk. But, here's the thing: It wears thin rather quickly. I value my time away from work and I began to see my work-free time disappear. I was no longer 'in the moment.' I wasn't paying full attention to what my wife or child was saying or doing. My attention was divided and, as a result, I was robbing myself of fully experiencing and enjoying my time off. My solution was a simple one and it is one that I've also applied to my work life with good results.

I don't check email all the time.

It's as simple to say as it is hard to do. I now shut off email on evenings, weekends and family holidays. I feel remarkably free. Also, I've learned that email can wait. Which leads me to my next point . . .

I am starting to batch email at work. Another effective strategy. I've taken the 'shortcut' for email off of my desktop. What a simple, yet effective, move! I can no longer reflexively click once and see what scintillating piece of news my administration is sharing with me. I have come to realize how much the pseudo-immediacy of email had come to rule my life. In the words of one of my colleagues, "If you're constantly checking email and responding right away, it means that you're working according to other people's agendas instead of your own."

An excellent thought and even more reason to go on email vacations on the weekends, during off hours, and on mini-vacations when other work needs to get done.

Of course, some of you receive these posts via email. But that's cool. My advice is really special and all, but it can wait. A while.

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How to Capitalize on Your Breakthroughs: Elation, Reflection, Intention

Picture it. You've been plugging away at something for days, weeks, even months or years. Maybe it's a poem or difficult feat of strength. And, suddenly, after so many tries, it happens. You've made it. You've had a breakthrough.

My thoughts and feelings after a breakthrough:

Stage 1. Elation. Woo hoo!

Stage 2. Boy oh boy, this took a long time. I had to do a lot.

Stage 3. What should I do next?

Stages 1 to 3 take around a minute, perhaps two. Hmmmmm.

Maybe that's a bit too quick? Maybe it's time to slow things down just a bit? After all, you've just had a BREAKTHROUGH. In some way, you've become a better person. Doesn't this deserve a bit more contemplation, a bit more thought? I think so. In fact, taking some more time should help you to capitalize on your success.

Today's advice is rather simple: After a breakthrough, experience what you experience, but slower:

1. Elation: Savor the Moment!

If you're Canadian, this step might be the most difficult of the three. We're not all that big on celebrating ourselves. But, come on. You've been working your butt off. Time to give yourself a pat on the back. Maybe reward yourself. Treat yourself to a big lunch (unless you've been trying to cut down on calories). Perhaps tell someone of your accomplishment. Even the most self-absorbed of folks can briefly focus on you and say something positive.

2. Reflection

As you're congratulating yourself, take some time to reflect on all of the hard work and sacrifices that got you to where you are. It's all too easy, methinks, to forget. Ironically, the longer you've been plugging away, the harder it might be to picture your life before you started trying so hard. This act of reflection will do two things: a) It will make you realize that you are a strong person who can accomplish real change; b) It will help you plan for the next step. Yes, not too much resting on your laurels . . .

3. Intention: Plan for the Next Stage!

You've had one breakthrough, it's time to start working toward the next one. Unless you're Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings of Greenbridge, Essex, time to start working on your next poem. Or maybe you want to ran farther. Or maybe . . . You get the idea. Nothing like a breakthrough to get things rolling along.

Have Fun!

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