Whatever Happened To Guilty Pleasures?

On this day, my wedding anniversary, I don’t want to think about my bad habits. I don’t want to think about changing myself. I want to drink good wine and celebrate. My bike can stay in the garage, my celery can stay in the fridge. What’s wrong with that? Why can’t I indulge some of my guilty pleasures on this wonderful day?

And so I start to think about guilty pleasures. Whatever happened to them? I mean, wanting to change yourself for the better is all well and good, but there is more to life. Right? I’m not just rationalizing (really, I’m not).

It’s high time to decide which of your behaviors can stay and which cannot. Only good can come from this pruning, as long as it’s done honestly. So, take a moment and think. What really bugs you about you? What behaviors do you really want to stop? Each of you has different answers, but my professor-self is itching to predict what you're thinking:

You’re thinking of things that you do a lot (every week, every day or more) that have bad consequences. You might over-indulge at the breakfast buffet every Sunday, making you feel bloated and disgusted with yourself. You might rob yourself of precious sleep most nights, making you unproductive at work. You might bite your nails and hide your hands in shame at social gatherings. These behaviors are bad habits and it’s a good idea to rid yourself of them.

But then there are "guilty pleasures." I like the phrase. The “guilty” part reminds us that we’re doing something naughty—something that we wouldn’t do if we were perfect. The “pleasure” part reminds us that it’s fun. The two words synergize to say "it's-fun-because-it’s-bad." Almost erotic.

Guilty pleasures are good because science says so. A lot of new and exciting research shows the limits of will-power. The take-home message: You can’t be “on” all the time. No one can. There will be moments when you’re sapped of mental energy. We all have a sense of when those moments occur. It’s at the end of a hard day at the office. It's in the middle of any day for stay-at-home Moms. It’s after a visit with those embarrassing relatives—your uncle’s drunken antics are starting to wear thin. That's when your guard is down and your bad habits can "own" you. So, when leaving work after a bad and long meeting, why not plan to indulge in a guilty pleasure? It's certainly better than giving your bad habits free reign.

But here’s the thing: You must be honest with yourself. I emphasize this because humans are ridiculously good at excusing themselves. To see what I mean, pick up great new book by Carol Tavris and Elliot Aronson: Mistakes Were Made (but not by me). They pummel you with examples of people-who-should-know-better excusing themselves. A favorite of mine: Dick Cheney told Tim Russert that invading Iraq was the right thing to do, lack of WMDs be damned. Cheney has his, ahem, reasons for thinking so. Compared to Cheney's mental gymnastics, excusing yourself for watching an extra hour of Simpsons reruns night after night is a cake-walk. You can do things that are really bad for you and still feel good about it a lot of the time. Deal with it.

I once saw a t-shirt that said something like, “Life is easy, once you know the choices.” This is one of those times. Pick a behavior and make your choice. Are you musing about a mostly-harmless guilty pleasure or are you looking into the cold beady eyes of a bad habit?

Now, off to celebrate . . .